she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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