Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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