Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
