That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
