Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
