So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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