Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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