i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
