FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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