the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
