My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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