she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
