you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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