Me too!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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