I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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