so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
