Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
