Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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