He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
