Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
