I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
birth control should be required to get into college
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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