thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They took my balls.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Randomize
