Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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