I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
