I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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