why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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