i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
