Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Small penises have feelings too.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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