Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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