the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
