is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
