Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
