we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
