Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
