im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize