Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
