bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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