I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
