i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
areolas are like halos for boobs.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
