i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
