He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
