i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
