She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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