highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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