what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
