I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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