just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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