u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
