So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
