I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
