I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
